Where Are All The Chicks?!

Ahh man... Living in the city – it’s just so weird. It’s so hectic out here, not like on the farm at all, but then some tell me they escaped from places worse than NYC, more crowded, even more dangerous. But I don’t know, all these feet stomping and running around you, they make you run too, and then it never gets quiet, even outside of Times Square, it’s just never fucking gets quiet. I remember on the farm once the dusk settles - you settle too. It was just so natural to go to sleep at sundown, wake up at dawn, wake up everyone else too. Here, nobody cares how loud you scream. The city is still louder. And then back home in the village, there were all these chicks too, you know, and you were the king among them ‘cuz you were the only one, here though, and you would think otherwise, but there are just no chicks in this city! Goddamn it! Can you imagine no chicks in the entire goddamn city?! I mean, they say there are some in China Town, but I am not going there! It means I will need to ride the subway, and can you imagine me on the subway?! No way, dude! They say, we will keep running even if our heads get cut off, and I much rather do that than ride the subway. But on the second thought, though… what rats and squirrels in NYC have taught me is that you can get away with a lot by just looking cute, and this little red cockscomb is the cutest thing about me, so I ain’t lettin’ nobody cut it off.