On Slobbing and Movement

I once read,

"You're miserable because you are stagnant,

and joy comes with the movement."

I printed the phrase and pinned it above my desk. I can attest to that.

During my Era of Joy, my movement was constant; however you want to define movement. My brain was moving: I was studying, working, learning new things. My energy was moving: I was making decisions big and small. My body was moving: I constantly ran from place to place during the week and hiked on the weekends. Even when, in the Fall of 2021, I broke up with my short-but-quite-messy-and-traumatizing-term boyfriend, I booked myself a solo Christmas trip to a little cabin in the mountains. Although I couldn't really hike anywhere because of the snow, even driving to, through, and from those mountains did the trick. During that time I moved a lot in general. I walked a lot especially. Especially, when I felt overcome. I picked a route around mine and the nearby neighborhoods, and I just walked, all while still feeling overcome, ruminating not so much the heartbreak – because I didn’t necessarily feel like my heart was broken – but more so the notion of How yet again did I fall into the same traps, and what were my lessons in that? Which is a touch heavier body of thoughts to be tossing around. The point is that I would do anything to move and not to stagnate. 

It doesn't always work this way, tho. When I moved from the joy-overflowing and beaming Mission to my personal Ghost Town named Sunset, the worry that I carried with me and the misery of being there squashed me, crashed me, and, over time, chained me to the couch. It's okay. It's called balance. We don't punish ourselves for it. In fact, if the circumstances allow, we let ourselves to slob* until we get disgusted with ourselves. Ideally, if you genuinely truly let yourself slob without doing a single productive thing, maybe without even brushing your teeth, it shouldn't take you more than a day to want to stop slobbing. Maybe, three, if you do brush your teeth. The single most important rule of slobbing is to allow it. We don't beat ourselves for slobbing. We accept it as a restorative practice. No, other people are not more productive. Yes, the fancy, successful people slob, too. They just don't tell you. 

If you want, you can even lay facedown and revel in your misery during your dedicated slobbing time; just set the timer. 

Slobbing is essential, yet I recognize it can feel like a luxury you think your circumstances can't afford you. Upcoming tests, a demanding job or multiple jobs, young children, and a packed schedule, but believe me when I say true slobbing will change your life. Even if it’s for an hour or just thirty minutes. If practiced whenever you feel like your body needs to slob, over time you'll need smaller and smaller sets of your schedules dedicated to it, too. Because when you don't respond to the need of your body to slob, it will demand you to do so by making you sick, and then you'll have no other choice but to slob… or power through, which will only make you sick for a longer period of time… or worse. 

The second rule of slobbing is: set the timer. It's especially important if you feel like you're depressed. You see, slobbing can be a dangerous sport. Imagine slobbing as an octopus with a Black Hole in the place of a belly. Forget to be intentional about it, to set a limit, and that's that – you crossed that fine line. It will suck you in. We don't want that. 

So remember the rules. The first rule of slobbing is: you don't talk about slobbing. The second rule of slobbing is: you DO NOT talk about slobbing.

Just kidding. Don't be like fancy people. In fact, go preach, but remember the rules:

№ 1: It's a restorative, intentional practice - allow for it.

№ 2: Set the time limit.

So what do you do when you don't slob?

You move. Fiercely and a lot.

Because if slobbing is how you restore your energy, movement is how you shake it up and make it work for you. Not to go there, but it’s through moving how you raise your vibration. Because your energy is stored mainly in your pelvis and coccyx bone, one of the best ways of shaking up your energy is horseback riding. Which, alright, let's be realistic, is not so accessible or easy to do. But walking is. And lucky for us, it moves your energy just as well. It doesn't matter if you walk intentionally or as a means of transportation. The goal is to walk quite fast and at least 6 miles, ideally so you break a sweat. It's preferable to do it in silence. No music, podcasts, or chit-chatting. Of course, in the perfect world, you'd want to take a brisk walk in a park around dawn for an hour or two, and if you can, by all means, make it your routine, but if not - just opt for walking whenever you can, that’s good enough. Running can be an option, too. 

One other top way to move your pelvis and coccyx bone is swimming. If I could start my every day at the pool, I would. It might not seem to be too tempting to dive into cold water first thing in the morning, but once again, just believe me when I say once you take a warm shower afterward and you step out of the building, you'll feel like a newborn Boss Baby ready to rock this world.

I also love boxing. Obviously, it's a fabulous way to channel your frustrations and anger. Unless you are a sloppy, wobbly, roly-poly doll that got broken slinkies for the limbs like I was, and who even for the love of God can't remember a combination, then yeah, the boxing itself can be a source of frustration rather than a solution, but it gets better, I promise. I'm not a roly-poly doll anymore, and although I haven't tried, I'm pretty sure at this point I can kick some ass if I want to.

Next comes stretching. Remember how I said I love boxing?

Yeaaaah… I can't say the same thing about stretching. Pardon my French, but I fucking hate it. I'm pretty sure I was traumatized by your stereotypical Russian ballet teacher when she relentlessly pushed and pressed on my chubby 6-year-old knees to make them bend backward, resulting not in knees bent backward but backward results. I'm stiff as a stick. I'm slowly getting to work on it. Because flexibility promotes flow and release. Your unprocessed emotions, your goddam trauma, and your absence of Joy are stored in your body. That pain in your back, neck, or shoulder, maybe an occasional twitching muscle or nerve in the thigh? Yeah, that's that. Thank you, Bessel Van Der Kolk, we know that now. And stretching can help you release that. So, I take it slow and do my best to remain mindful and send my breath to the parts where it hurts… and, frankly, sometimes I scream, whisper in pain, "fuck that," and give up. I come back the next day. Or the day after. 

The absolute creme de la creme of movement for Joy, tho, is hiking. If you've never tried it, it may be scary. Just like boxing, you might hate it at first. In fact, it's very likely that it doesn't matter how often or for how long you've been doing it; you gonna hate it at some point during your every excursion. But there's nothing more grounding and wonderful than being in nature, breaking a sweat, and building endurance, both physical and mental, all simultaneously and feeling like Man, I made it to the top, I overcame myself, and it doesn't matter how hard or how long it took me, I made it to the top. You'll be amazed how that feeling will translate to the rest of your life. Similar to walking, it's preferred to do it in silence, even if you're with a buddy. Google how to do it safely if you're doing it alone. Stay hydrated. 

That all being said, the balance between slobbing and moving is key. Diversifying your moving is key, too. That's what works for me. If that doesn't work, find what works for you, but at least try it. Consult your doctor if you have to. 

And to wrap up and make it practical, here are the apps I use for the movement:

DownDog Yoga - it's free if you're a teacher or a student. They also have separate Meditation, Barre, and Running apps. On the same condition, all are free too. 

Running - it's free in general. Intermittent running that gives you great results if you stick to it. 

ClassPass - different plans, reasonable way to attend workout classes. You can sample without committing to a single gym membership. Allows you to spice it up and introduce an element of surprise to your movement routine. Also has other discounted services like haircuts, massages, etc.

STRETCHIT - Not free, which is unfortunate. But it's a worthwhile app that makes stretching bearable. Have a wide variety of courses if you want to target a specific area. 

AllTrails - Free and evident if you're into hiking. Not so obvious if you're not. It's super intuitive to navigate, and it's the best. Trust me. 

Sidenote: I don’t have partnerships with nor do I get benefits from recommending these apps.

*Slobbing is a term coined by my coworker, who has her every Sunday reserved for solely slobbing, and I respect that.